Saavik appears at Kirk's cabin after Spock's death with a startling revelation.
Beta-read by Saavant.

Lost and Found

Kirk/Saavik (also K/S) by Farfalla; rated R
blueberrysnail @

Saavik stood before the closed door, counting off the seconds before Kirk answered if only to convince her mind that he really wasn't taking that long to answer her chime.

Twenty, twenty-one. Well, maybe he was.

The door slid open and there he was, his hair more buoyant than normal and his face shiny and ruddy with the signs of care and trouble. "Saavik." He acknowledged her with the dull voice of one surprised into bereavement.

"Admiral, may I enter?" she asked simply. Her hair was down again, he noticed.

"Certainly." He stepped back and let her into the room, then let the door close behind her. "Can I offer you anything to drink?"

"No, but thank you for your offer." She cast her eyes down to the floor, forming her next words carefully. "Admiral." She looked up again, into his eyes. They seemed larger, almost beastlike to her, now that they had been so milked--if not for tears, then for the glaze that tears become when trapped within the eye of the proud.

"What... what's on your mind, Saavik?"

"Admiral," Saavik repeated before beginning. "Why did you say Spock was the most 'human' at his funeral, despite his preference for his Vulcan heritage? You must have been aware that your words would offend those present who were not human."

"I--I wasn't going to say human," Kirk explained. "When the moment came, I couldn't say--beautiful, or wonderful, or any of the other things I really felt. Instead, I said the only word I could think of. To me, it expressed his journey perfectly, since to us, human means more than a species. It also means 'mortal', and that we're all flawed but wonderful beings, capable of making our own choices, for better or for worse. Do you understand?"

"I believe so." She paused. "Admiral, there is more."

"Continue," he invited.

"Before he died, Spock placed his katra inside me, for safekeeping until it can be taken to a Vulcan temple. This is the Vulcan way, when there is to be no hope of survival for the body. He chose me because I was his protege, and he knew that I was worthy of the responsibility."


"What you humans call a soul. The essence of his life, all that he was." She paused. "It is on his behalf that I have come here tonight."

"Spock?" Kirk studied her carefully with those huge, liquid eyes of his. It was clear that he wanted to believe. "How can I be sure you're telling the truth? No offense, of course."

"He speaks to me of... t'hy'la. I can offer you no more."

Kirk's firmly-set mouth twitched. "Spock, are you... with me?"

"I will always be with you, in some form," Saavik replied in a low voice. When she finished speaking she hastily looked around the room like a frightened bird. "Admiral," she added in her usual voice, flustered. "He compels me to approach you... he wishes to touch..."

Kirk held out his hand, two fingers outstretched. Saavik slowly mirrored him and touched her fingers to his. "I can't feel him," Kirk blurted out.

"I am half-Romulan," Saavik explained. "My body has barely any psi-abilities. You must rely on your memories of him--but believe me, he is grateful."

"Spock," Kirk said softly, continuing to caress her fingers.

Saavik took a deep breath. "He wishes to be held in your arms one last time."

Kirk studied her silently for a long time. "Saavik? How do you feel about this?"

"I will endure it," she said simply. "It is what he needs."

Kirk closed his eyes and enfolded Saavik with a bear hug. He was shaking slightly from emotion. Slowly, Saavik's arms floated up around his body and held his back in a firm clutch. He turned his head to nuzzle and then kiss the side of her face. "Spock," he whispered as he stroked her pointed ear.

Saavik's voice came, low again. "I have been, and ever shall be--"

Kirk smothered the rest of the statement with an almost predatory kiss, attacking Saavik's mouth. She responded with equal ardor, sucking his tongue keep into her mouth and chewing his lip. They pulled each other to the floor and she wrapped her legs around his waist, pressing her pelvis against his.

He left her mouth to worship her neck with suckling nibbles, his eyes still closed. Ignoring her breasts, he reached around and kneaded her ass cheeks in his powerful hands. She responded with low, strangely masculine grunts, and began to undo his fly. Before he was even cognizant of this touch, she had freed his demanding hardness from his uniform pants.

She quickly wriggled halfway out of her own, leaving them around her knees, and pulled him down upon her. "Jim," she groaned huskily.

"Spock," Kirk sighed as he thrust his penis into the space between her thighs--not her pussy. "My Vulcan, my friend, my beautiful, beautiful man...."


Saavik's hands combed through his thick hair and caressed his back and urged on his thrusts with their hold on his rear. Soon, he was finished, and lay like a dead weight against her body. He panted against her collarbone, forming moisture. "Goodbye, my love."

With these words, he slowly got to his feet and cleaned himself up. Saavik stood, and adjusted herself in the mirror. "Thank you," she said simply. "He is at peace now,"

"Thank ~you~," Kirk stammered ardently. It was all he could say. "My God, Saavik, I'm so sorry."

"I am functional," she reassured him. "It was my duty. He chose me for the honor, and the responsibility that accompanied it. Good night."

"Good night."

She left his cabin and hurried back to her own, her skin still tingling from her passionate encounter with James Kirk. She had finally done Kirk, as she had longed to ever since first setting eyes on him. Who can explain the mysterious forces of pheromones and hormones that draw us with undeniable desire to one specific being or another?

She'd had to lie to find her way into his arms, but it had worked, and it was worth it. He'd never know--she couldn't think of anyone, besides Kirk, who would have been chosen to receive Spock's katra. She was sad to lose Spock, but at least her deceit was safely hidden. Before Spock found her and helped her out of the streets, she'd been no stranger to lying and cheating. Now, he was gone once more from her life, and she was back on her own.

Or maybe not, she mused, as she keyed open her door, still smelling Kirk's cologne on her hands.

Men willingly believe what they wish.
--Julius Caesar