an R-rated Kirk/Spock story by Farfalla
blueberrysnail @ yahoo.com

Thank you to Hypatia, Blue, and Saavant for their beta-work.
Written in honor of Mrs Spock, and inspired by Maoric.
Archived in SBS#12 and where permission granted.


James Kirk sat bolt upright in bed. "What the hell is that?" He looked over automatically at his computer terminal.

It was blinking GOOD MORNING, and the little orange light for the wake-up alarm was flashing as well. Jim looked at Spock, who was already fully uniformed and combing his impeccable hair in the mirror. "That's... the ugliest noise I've ever heard," he told Spock.

"I agree, Captain," said Spock, not turning around. "It is not aesthetically pleasing by any standard."

Kirk got out of bed and hurried over to the computer. "Computer, end alarm." The hideous noise stopped. "Computer, return alarm sound to Simple Beep."

"Unable to comply with this request."


"Starfleet regulations require use of the new standard alarm for starship wake-up calls," explained the fluid female voice.

"New standard alarm--? Computer, override."

"Unable to comply with this request."

"Jim, it is time to leave for breakfast," Spock interjected.

Kirk had no choice but to leave the computer be and get into his uniform. His ears were still ringing as he and Spock left the room for breakfast.

Jim got his food first and sat down next to Dr. McCoy. He placed his tray on the table and collapsed crossly into a chair.

McCoy eyed the captain's plate of sausages, eggs, and thickly buttered toast. "What's with that? Is it Artery-Clogging Day and somebody forgot to tell me?"

"They changed the alarm," Kirk said gruffly, digging into his eggs.

"Well, you knew about that," McCoy said. "Or didn't you read the memo? Starfleet decided it needed to get rid of optional noises for the cabin alarm clocks. Seems too many ensigns were having to wake up their roommates in the morning--they had the danged things set to music, and you get so used to that after a while it doesn't work at all."

"I know, I know, I read it. Was that even happening on my ship?"

"We did have an ensign or two oversleep recently," said McCoy. "It happens." Spock joined them with what looked like the world's biggest bowl of fruit salad. "Give him some of that," McCoy said to Spock, still eyeing Kirk's Plate O' Fat.

"I knew they were going to reset the alarm noises," Kirk continued, ignoring the continual digs at his diet, "I just figured they'd set them all back to the Beep noise I'd been using since I was a lieutenant! It's somehow soothing and rousing at the same time--great combination for an alarm. And what do they use instead? It sounds like a pig in heat being roasted alive."

Spock seemed to shrink into his fruit bowl at the vivid image.

"Well, I can't say," McCoy drawled, licking his spoon mischievously. "I've got an old-fashioned alarm clock from Earth in my room. I don't have to use the computer."

Jim speared a sausage, hard. "That's what I'm gonna have to do. First chance we get, next time we stop for supplies at a starbase, I'll pick up a handheld alarm clock."

"The next opportunity will be in six solar days," Spock piped up helpfully.

"Thank you, Mr. Spock." Jim's mouth was an unhappily shifting line. Six more mornings with that horrible squealing waking him up... "Well, who knows. Maybe it won't seem quite so bad tomorrow, now that I know what to expect."

But the next morning, the strident croaking of the computer awoke the captain to an even fouler mood. "Spock! Shut that thing off!" he yelled, slithering underneath his pillow.

"The alarm is targeted for your voice command," Spock reminded him, "to ensure that you have, indeed, been roused."

An unintelligible grumbling was the response. Eventually, Jim got out of bed and grumpily told the computer what it could do with itself, to which it--of course--replied that it was unable to comply with that request.

"How many days until we get to Starbase C4?" Jim muttered as they took the turbolift to the bridge.

"Five," Spock reminded him.

"Five more mornings of that..." Jim mumbled piteously. "All I want is a beep to wake up to. Is that too much to ask?"

That night before going to bed, Spock switched off Jim's computer alarm. Then he made up his mind to awaken ten minutes earlier than usual. His Vulcan physiology made conventional alarm clocks unnecessary, much to his relief in light of these recent adventures.

The next morning, he awoke to a dark cabin, first wondering why his sleep had ceased earlier than usual, and then remembering his intentions from the night before.

He rolled to one side and looked at Jim. The captain was fast asleep, long lashes cast down over a peaceful face, breathing serenely.

Very gently, Spock squirmed one arm underneath Jim's body and nudged him onto his side so that they were spooning. He enveloped the human in a tight hug and craned his neck sideways to gently nibble Jim's earlobe.

Without opening his eyes, Jim shivered slightly and smiled in his sleep. His backside wiggled against Spock's groin, and soon the Vulcan's hardness was resting against Jim's buttocks.

Spock's hand floated down Jim's front and grasped his halfheartedly-hard morning wood. Jim groaned lazily and bucked slightly into the touch. Spock snuggled closer against Jim, rubbing himself along the curve of Jim's backside. Grinding himself against the other man this way, breathing in the sweet scent of his clean hair and skin, it wasn't long before he climaxed. He did not ejaculate because he was not in Pon Farr--nothing wasted--but the pleasurable shudders rocked his body all the same.

And now he could give his full attention to Jim.

Depositing Jim once again on his back, Spock slid down to the base of the bed and wrapped his hands around Jim's lower body from beneath. He pushed the flaps of Jim's pajama shorts fly aside with his nose, and studiously began to suck his penis. Jim moaned and twiched, his hands caressing Spock's smooth black hair and naked shoulders.

With a convulsive ecstasy Jim came, and Spock swallowed each pulse of liquid until he felt Jim's body relax. Then he pulled away from the relaxing organ and crawled up to capture Jim in his embrace.

The beautiful hazel eyes were open now, shining with love. "Hey," Jim murmured lazily in greeting.

Spock curled up against Jim's warmth, brought his mouth close to Jim's round ear, and whispered, "Beep."

Jim's reaction was to burst out laughing, and kiss him on the nose.

Later, in the mess hall, the two men joined Dr. McCoy for breakfast once again. McCoy eyed their plates with his critical physician's eye, and smiled with approval when he saw the whole wheat toast and vegetable omelette adorning Jim's plate.

Then he looked to Spock. "Isn't that the same exact bowl of fruit you've eaten every day this week? Don't you ever get bored?"

"Yes, it is, Doctor, and no, I do not," Spock said pointedly as he sat down. "And 'exact same' is a redundant construction."

"It's too early in the morning for that walking computer stuff," McCoy grumbled.

"Just a minute, Bones," Kirk interjected, his face glowing as he buttered his toast. "He's not a computer, he's an alarm clock!"

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