Title: Everybody Loves Lesbians
Author: Farfalla the Butterfly-Kitten
Email: blueberrysnail (at) yahoo dot com
Website: http://www.cosmicduckling.com
Beta: I can't thank Hy enough for letting me dictate this one over the phone at 3 am *blush*
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: K/S, Ch/f (Leila), f/f and S/f implied
The men, the bed, and the blonde scientists with their awesome boobies do not belong to me. Pity.
Summary: Spock doesn't understand why it is logical for Kirk to watch lesbian porn.


Admiral Kirk was feeling frisky when he got home from the Starfleet budget meeting, but Spock was busy at his desk grading papers from his class at the Academy. The Vulcan gave him his assurances that he would be finished soon, so Kirk went into the bedroom and stripped down to just his pants. He lay down across the bed, grabbed a handheld vidscreen and a few data chips, and opened his fly.

After flipping through what the porn chips had to offer, he settled on an old favorite--two buxom female "scientists", one blonde and one redhead, having wild sex in a laboratory. The unnecessary premise was that they were conducting experiments to discover a method of increasing their sex appeal--quite redundant, in Kirk's opinion--and it had somehow backfired and transformed them into raging lesbians. It was silly, but it was very hot, especially when the redhead twisted her neck and licked the blonde *just there*--

Kirk was idly fondling himself and watching the porno when Spock entered the room. Spock shed his jacket and shirt and hung them up neatly in the closet. Then he went to join Kirk in bed.

Settling into the pillow beside his bondmate, he regarded the vidscreen with an upraised eyebrow. "I do not understand the appeal of that vid for you."

"Hm?" Kirk paused the screen, and removed his hand from his balls. He looked at Spock.

"Both participants in the sex act are women. I could see how watching a man and a woman have intercourse would be arousing to you, having considerable experience in that area," Spock replied. "And of course, we both realize the erotic potential of men with each other. But, I think I say with some certainty that you have never had a lesbian experience."

"Oh, I don't know about that, I've eaten tofu," Jim quipped. Seeing Spock's stone face of confusion, he added, "Never mind." He paused for a moment to think. "I guess the appeal is--twice the woman is twice the fun--for those of us that can appreciate that."

"I have also enjoyed the intimate company of women," Spock reminded him.

"And still, this does nothing for you?" Jim held up the vid-screen, frozen on a close-up of the blonde's breast being fondled by an elegantly manicured hand.

"It does not," Spock affirmed.

"I've got to show you," Jim persisted. "Come on. Everybody likes lesbians!"

Spock shot him a skeptical look. "I question your statistical technique."

Kirk chewed his lip in thought. "Spock, what do you think about when you masturbate?"

Spock was silent for a moment to absorb the directness of the question and then said, "My fantasies have included the homosexual warriors of ancient Vulcan, a beautiful young woman who was my childhood caretaker, and, of course, you."

"Hmm, I rank right up there with the babysitter." His eyes flashed with glee. "Spock, like you said, you've been with several women. How about--just trying--to imagine--two of them with each other, and see if it has any effect?"

"Which two would you suggest?"

"Well, which of them did you find the most attractive?"

"Zarabeth," answered Spock, "of Sarpeidon."

"Alright, Spock, now who else can we put her with?"


*Sure, if you go for drippy aristocrats*, Kirk thought. Out loud, he said, "Okay, great. Now imagine Zarabeth and Droxine . . . lying on a bed together . . . completely naked . . ." As he spoke, he opened Spock's fly and gently eased the Vulcan's genitals out of his pants. Spock's shaft responded slightly to the tangental touch, but he was clearly not excited by the image Kirk described.

"What are they doing in the bed?" Spock ventured.

"Imagine them writhing together, pressing their soft, full bosoms into each other." The thought of this instantly made Kirk fully erect, but he tried to ignore his arousal and remain articulate for Spock's sake.

"Zarabeth did not possess appreciable quantity of mammary tissue," Spock pointed out.

"We can pick different women," Kirk suggested. "I've got an idea--meld with me, and I'll fantasize for you. I can use women you've kissed in the past. How about Dr. Chapel and Dr. Kalomi?"

"Do you not think it might be unethical to derive pleasure from thoughts of an individual who is deprived of parallel comfort?"

Kirk paused with his mouth open and then said, "You know, I'd--love to discuss this with you philosophically--but I'm too tired and horny right now. Besides," he added, "there are good odds that they've fantasized about you."

Spock accepted this rationalization and placed his hand on Kirk's temple. A tableau began to transmit into Spock's mind from Jim's practised imagination. It was Omicron Ceti Three, as best he could remember it, and Leila Kalomi was taking leaf samples from an herb garden. Dr. Chapel, or, more appropriately, Nurse Chapel (because she still had her hair dyed blonde) came out of a nearby building, wearing her old Starfleet uniform back from the days of the blue dress. She walked up behind Leila and "surprised" her with a small kiss on the side of her neck.

Leila turned around and melted into Chris's arms. They kissed open-mouthed for a few minutes, hands swarming over each other's backs, and then walked together into a nearby toolshed. Inside, Leila leaned back against the wall and pulled Chris's bosomy body against her. Their breasts pressed together in an orgy of tissue.

Leila snuck one hand between them to caress Chris's left breast with a few fingers. She curled her knuckles to let her nails scrape the nipple through the cloth of the uniform, and Christine moaned at the teasing contact. She held Leila's hips in her hands and bucked against Leila's pelvis.

Leila worked her hands down Christine's body until she was at the hem of the skirt, and then snuck them underneath. She lifted the skirt for a moment to give the fantasy's "audience", whom she was otherwise ignoring, a view of Christine's lower body. The black pantyhose she was wearing were obviously not Starfleet issue--they were crotchless! //Creative,// Spock commented, and returned to watching placidly.

Leila cupped Christine's vulva in her hand. Her fingers slipped in between the wet labia and began working at Chris's clitoris. Christine, breathing heavily, cupped one hand around Leila's breast and kneaded it thoroughly. Her head lolled down into the crook of Leila's neck, and she began to suckle it.

Jim could tell that Spock was trying hard to be interested, but that the fantasy was, regrettably, leaving him lukewarm. //This isn't working,// he observed.

//No, but it is interesting,// Spock thought diplomatically.

//Let me think about this for a little more.// Jim moved Spock's fingers away from his face and simply held his hand while he mused on women, on Spock, and on Vulcans in general. *Hey,* he thought to himself. *Spock's mother is a human woman. Spock's never had a successful relationship with a human woman. The one woman he mentioned fantasizing about before was Vulcan--his babysitter when he was a kid. Why do I keep trying to make him think about human women in bed? They do nothing for him--they probably remind him of his mother.*

"Spock," Kirk said suddenly. "Imagine two beautiful Vulcan women together."

Spock's mouth fell open slightly and his penis filled with blood. Within seconds his shaft was fully erect and throbbing.

Kirk was grinning as he pounced. "I love Vulcans!"

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