I would like to thank Hypatia for the beta-read.

In Love With My Captain

K/S, G-rated; shameless Kirk worship
by Farfalla Caquí
blueberrysnail @ yahoo.com

I fell in love with my captain. He was not the first human that I had worked under--merely the most extraordinary. He approaches each encounter without ego or malice, trying until the last for a peaceful course, but when battle is unavoidable he meets it with all the mettle of a brilliant tactician and a flexible thinker. He is always searching for an unknown and even more perfect alternative. He is a human embodiment of the quality of hope. And in the event that all cannot be saved, he does not hesitate to give of himself for others, each member of his crew as dear to him as family.

I fell in love with my teacher. I came to Starfleet knowing the Vulcan way alone, and more than a decade among human peers had taught me only that whereas my chosen way was more difficult, it was infinitely preferable to the chaos and disarray of the emotional mind. I did not relate to my human crew; their parties, their jokes and laughter, their vernacular speech. But with the start of his command began a new moment in my life, one filled with a growing understanding and even appreciation for these mental fluctuations. They may not have been meant for me, but no longer were they foreign. He showed me how to smile without shame, and that the deep place in my heart he had discovered for himself was something I could share with him.

I fell in love with my friend. In his company, mere games of strategy transcended the intellect and became times of personal connection. Our conversation branched and spiraled like fractals, from science to anecdote to discussions of political events. Never before had my tongue loosened so easily before another. I never had reason to fear his censure, as I would have on Vulcan for my humanity, or on Terra for my vulcanness. He knew my words were my own and not those of some planet of ideals, and treated them as such, and with respect.

I fell in love with my husband. Our growing mutual affection was not granted the time or opportunity to carefully flower in the most logically secure way. My biology catapulted our relationship quickly beyond its natural development, and we were not saved from suffering as a result. Time has forgiven our anxieties, however, and we found our balance. Our relationship continued to grow even after being forcefully brought to maturity. Our devotion derives itself daily from each area of our lives, and we find new reasons to appreciate each other, and to fall in love.

Seven minutes ago, I fell in love with Jim Kirk again. On his way to the mirror to straighten his uniform before leaving for the bridge of his ship, our ship, he passed me where I stood and pressed a soft kiss into the side of my jaw. I am reminded of my gratitude for the existence of James T. Kirk. I note with satisfaction that this is not a good-bye kiss before he leaves for his job and I for mine--it is a good-morning kiss before we go, together, to start the new day.

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