Title: Heavy Petting
Author: Farfalla the Butterfly-Kitten
Email: blueberrysnail (at) yahoo dot com
Pairing: K/S, Sa/Am
Rating: PG-13
Beta: Hypatia Kosh
Disclaimer: Paramount can have 'em back once they're done being in this story, of course, but they'll have to wash the sugar off first. Heee!
Summary: Kirk and Spock's wedding night is invaded by tiny, furry creatures. No, they're not tribbles...
Written for the Side by Side Wedding Day Challenge

Heavy Petting

People Magazine, twenty-third century edition
Tying the Knot mini-column entry #4

Admiral James Tiberius Kirk of Starfleet and Commander Spock, also of Starfleet, were wed today in a private, formal ceremony on Vulcan. The pair, who met during Admiral Kirk's first command on the starship Enterprise, were recently in the news for their deactivation of a deadly robotic probe that threatened the planet Earth. This isn't the first time someone in Spock's family has made waves on Vulcan by marrying outside the species--Spock's father, Sarek, married a human linguistics professor from Toronto, Canada.

Spock removed his black and silver robe and placed it carefully on a hanger. Like a cat appearing at the sound of the can-opener, Jim Kirk appeared behind him almost instantaneously and began a caress along Spock's linen-clad back.

Spock leaned into Jim's massaging hand and closed his eyes. Here in the privacy of his mother's guest-bedroom, he saw no logical reason to restrain outward expression of the feelings flooding through his body. "Jim..."

Jim began to remove the linen shirt from Spock's trembling body. "That feel good?" Jim purred, already knowing the answer from the heavy breaths he could feel rising and falling beneath his fingers.

Spock's answer was to whirl around suddenly, grab Jim with both arms, and kiss him so hard that even Jim, Galactic Kisser Extraordinaire, had to take a step backwards. Unfortunately, the step was followed by an alarmed squeal from the floor, and Jim found himself stumbling over a small furry beast. Luckily, it darted away before he could do it further harm.

"What was that?"

"My mother is fond of animals," explained Spock. "Her cat, Angelica, recently had a litter of kittens. I assume that small creature is one of them."

"Hm. Well," Jim said, smiling, "back to the matter at hand." He pulled Spock back into their Extra-Picante kiss.

Five minutes later, the two men had removed from each other one Vulcan linen shirt, two pairs of Starfleet uniform pants, and various other pieces of fabric. They were now quite ready for the typical excitements one would expect of a wedding night, and they approached the luxurious, king-sized bed with alacrity.

Jim tackled Spock against the pillows and squeezed his body in a tight hug. "You're mine now... and I'm yours... Spock, it feels so good!"

Then, something walked across his rear end.

Jim could definitely tell the difference between Spock's kneading fingers and the trodding paws of a small feline. "Shoo!" he hissed, rolling sideways off his new husband.

"Miii?" the kitten asked.

"Spock, unless your mother's cat is some kind of alien chameleon," said Jim, hopping off the bed, "this is a different kitten." He gently picked up the intruding animal and walked towards the door. "Bye, bye, little fella."

"Miii," said the baby kitten as it felt all four of its paws on solid ground once again. It looked at Jim with big yellow eyes, but he shut the door. He had someone far more interesting to cuddle.

Cuddling progressed to heavy petting which progressed, as it often does, to intense and beautiful lovemaking. Jim was licking the inside of Spock's thigh when a loud scrabbling noise at the side of the mattress made both men sit up with alarm.

Suddenly, four tiny kittens came scampering over the bed, chasing each other through the already tangled sheets. Their claws snagged on the delicate fabric as they playfully rough-housed. "How many kittens did Angelica *have*?" Jim asked, catching his breath as he contorted his body to avoid the melee.

"I am not certain," Spock said, "but it seems apparent that the number is at least six."

"Miii!" said one of the kittens as another bopped it on the nose with its paw.

A kitten crawled in between Kirk's legs and curled up as if it intended to go to sleep. "Whaa?" He looked down and shook his head.

"It is as I said, Jim," Spock quipped. "You have a powerful attractive force."

"It's not intended for month-old cats." Jim moved the kitten away.

Another one was snuggled up to Spock's face and started licking his ear. Spock edged away in shock at the sandpapery feel.

"Stop it, you!" Jim told the little one. "That's my job." He scooped the cats into his arms and carried them out into the hallway.

On his way back to bed, he nearly tripped over the very first kitten, the one he'd tripped on before when Spock had kissed him so passionately. "You again! I thought we'd put you outside."

Spock took a drink from the carafe beside the bed and then received Jim back into his arms. "Where were we?" the human murmured before liquefying once again.

Eventually, their pleasures reached the logical conclusion and they lay, curled in each other's arms. Vulcan has no moon, but a brilliant starlight shone through the window near the ceiling. In its glow, they beheld each other's faces in a silver shadow, and silently worshipped the love they had found.


The tiniest of the kittens came creeping up on the bed beside them. Gingerly, moving each paw slowly and testing the surface, it climbed the JimSpock mountain and settled down on its peak (which consisted of Jim's muscled, fleshy shoulder.) Almost immediately, it began to purr.

"I'm beginning to believe in spontaneous generation," Jim joked.

"I think I see the source of our predicament." Spock nodded his head sideways, indicating the door. Jim squinted in the darkness, and saw something moving at its base.

Another kitten squeezed under the door, which, upon inspection, proved to not be flush to the floor, and scurried across the floor to the bed. It leapt atop the blankets and began kneading its paws in Jim's side.

"It's like a leaky boat," commented Jim. "Not that I'm complaining..." He scratched one of the kittens under the chin, and it picked its head up to encourage his attention. "They're kinda cute!"

"They are intelligent animals," Spock replied. "...and yes, Jim, they are... adorable."

On the other side of the house, Lady Amanda paced the master bedroom backwards and forwards. Angelica had gone to sleep at the foot of the bed already, but none of her kittens had come home for the evening.

"My wife, please come to bed," Sarek pleaded, with as much exasperation as a Vulcan allowed himself to express.

"Where are the kittens? They're too young not to be sleeping with their mother," Amanda protested.

"Why not ask the house computer?" Sarek suggested, reluctantly starting a new chapter in his book.

"Oh," said Amanda. "I hadn't thought of that. Computer!"


"Computer, where are Angelica's kittens?"

"In the guest bedroom with Spock and Jim Kirk."

"With--really!" Amanda's eyes opened with surprise. "Well, okay." She climbed into bed beside her husband. "A wedding night with six kittens. To each his own."

They turned out the lights and went to sleep.

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