ya know, the first time I saw 'AtCSL', I didn't know that scene was coming.... imagine my glee!! Imagine my worn-down rewind button.


Title: Shatner on the Set
Author: Farfalla
Contact: blueberrysnail@yahoo.com
Series: TOS humor
Rating: L, for Ludicrous
Part: 1/1
Archive: Yeah sure spread the luv ;-) but somebody tell me about it first (if it's someone other than the regular ASCEM folks)? ;-D
My K/S website: http://spirk.cosmicduckling.com
Summary: This is fiction. This never happened, as far as I know. But William Shatner can be *so* much fun to pick on! :-D
This was originally posted on the group TOS-up and refers to the Spirky elevator scene in the middle of the episode "And the Children Shall Lead". For those that need a refresher (and this will be funnier if you know the scene), LG has a bunch of subtitled screencaptures on her website: http://www.allyourtrekarebelongto.us/children.html (i think?)

Disclaimer: The entire Trek universe belongs to Paramount and will not suffer much from the poking and prodding of our curious collective imaginations. We mean our beloved characters no harm and think that quite possibly they enjoy the variety ;-)

My apartment is a solitary ten-minute walk from most of my classes, and as I pass through the yellowing sycamores sometimes the most bizzarre ideas come into my head...


WILLIAM SHATNER ON THE SET OF 'AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD'


RODDENBERRY
OK, guys, let's do the elevator scene. Take one!

THE TV TECHIE EQUIVALENT OF A REDSHIRT
*slap* Roll 'em!

SHATNER
(cringing) I'm losing my command! I'm... alone! I've lost my command. I've.... uh, line?

RODDENBERRY
Cut, cut. You just said your line. You're supposed to repeat "I've lost my command" again.

SHATNER
Oh, ok. Sorry.

RODDENBERRY
It's ok. Take two.

THE TV TECHIE EQUIVALENT OF A REDSHIRT
*slap* Roll 'em!

SHATNER
(cringing) I'm losing my command! I'm.... alone! I'm alone and I'm losing my command! I've lost my command! I've lost my command!
(reaches suddenly and desperately for NIMOY, but misses him completely and goes tumbling off the set.)

RODDENBERRY
Um... cut. Are you all right?

SHATNER
Never felt better.

RODDENBERRY
Take three. From right after "I'm alone".

THE TV TECHIE EQUIVALENT OF A REDSHIRT
*slap* Roll 'em!

SHATNER
I've lost my command! I've lost... my command! (hurls himself directly at NIMOY and starts kissing him passionately)

NIMOY
(breaks free) What the hell are you doing?

RODDENBERRY
We can't show *that*!!! This is still the 1960's!

SHATNER
Sorry.... got carried away... carried away...

NIMOY
(gagging)

NICHOLS, offscreen
(giggles)

RODDENBERRY
Take four. And trust me, Bill, it'll be more effective if you *don't* kiss him.

NIMOY
Yes, please don't!!!

THE TV TECHIE EQUIVALENT OF A REDSHIRT
*slap* Roll 'em! (sighs and pops a beer)

SHATNER
Mi havi malgajni mia komandi de la Enterprise!! Mi havi mal--

NICHOLS
What's he saying?

RODDENBERRY
Cut! *English*, Bill, not Esperanto!!!

SHATNER
Whoops, sorry.

RODDENBERRY
Take five.
(beginning to wither)

THE TV TECHIE EQUIVALENT OF A REDSHIRT
*slap* Roll 'em! (finishes beer, looks around for a second)

SHATNER
(stands there, quivering) Uh.... line?

THE TV TECHIE EQUIVALENT OF A REDSHIRT
You stupid freak!!! (runs over to SHATNER with his little slappy board and starts hitting him over the head with it. It takes several cast members to subdue him and he finally passes out after NIMOY performs, not the Vulcan neck pinch, but the American head bonk.)

SHATNER:
(dazed from attack)
It's on the wing of the plane! Look, on the wing!! (reels off set)

RODDENBERRY
*Sigh.*
Maybe we should make this a silent film....



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