For the Hogwarts chat parody, scroll down past the Star Trek stuff.

USS ENTERPRISE CHAT ROOM

Welcome, Guestuser!
This room has 2 users besides you.

Guestuser has signed into room USS Enterprise
JTKStarfleet: ohh i am getting so hot r u in ur quarters?
JTKStarfleet: whoops someone's here
JTKStarfleet: Dammit
JTKStarfleet: ...
SxyVulcan26: Negative, Captain, I am in the library attempting to ascern the source of the database malfunction in this computer
JTKStarfleet: o
SxyVulcan26: I expect that I shall be here for no longer than 9.5 minutes. Shall I come to your quarters after I have completed my work here?
JTKStarfleet: Yes
JTKStarfleet: :-p
JTKStarfleet has left the room
SxyVulcan26: Bye
ScotlandtheBrave has signed into room USS Enterprise
SxyVulcan26: Hello, Mr. Scott. So far I have determined that, somehow, this computer has been crippled due to excessively large files recently downloaded from the SpaceNet. But I have not been able to find these large files anywhere on the hard drive.
ScotlandtheBrave: MAybe whoever downlaoded them saved them to a disk and then deleted them
ScotlandtheBrave: *downloaded
nyotaharp has signed into room USS Enterprise
SxyVulcan26: But why bother to delete the files? There is room enough on this computer for each of the 432 crewmembers to store files in their own password protected folders within the hard drive's storage capacity.
nyotaharp: Hey guys, has anyone seen Pavel today? He didn't show up for his shift on teh bridge
nyotaharp: 45 min ago
ScotlandtheBrave: No
SxyVulcan26: Negative, Lieutenant.
nyotaharp: I think someone should go find him.
Bones1701 has signed into room USS Enterprise
ScotlandtheBrave: Theres someone
Bones1701: Spock! Nice to see you here, being frivolous ;-)
SxyVulcan26: I am doing nothing of the sort. I am engaged in computer repair.
Bones1701: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
nyotaharp: Dr. McCoy, can you please go check on Ensign Chekov? He's very late for his bridge duty.
Bones1701: Sure thing, N!
ScotlandtheBrave: Check on Chekov... Chek on Checkov... hehe
Bones1701 has left the room
nyotaharp: LOL!! :-)
SxyVulcan26: Indeed.
ScotlandtheBrave: Excuse me, Sir but if the files being downloaded were something of a very personal nature, mayve the person who was saving them didn't even want to take the chance of anyting being found
ScotlandtheBrave: So they used a disk
ScotlandtheBrave: *maybe
SxyVulcan26: I suggest that someone on this ship has attempted to download a very peculiar type of pornography, and that is what has crippled the system.
nyotaharp: weird
ScotlandtheBrave: Must have been a pretty large filesize!
nyotaharp: Oh baby what a big filesize you have
nyotaharp: j/k
nyotaharp: Spock, can you trace the last websites that were visited before the database blacked out?
nyotaharp: Spock?
nyotaharp: Are you there?
SxyVulcan26: Affirmative.
SxyVulcan26: Lieutenant, you are to be commended for your timely request to Dr. McCoy.
ScotlandtheBrave: huh?
nyotaharp: oh no is Pavel in trouble? What happened? what did you find?
Bones1701 has signed into room USS Enterprise
Bones1701: OMG OMFG OMFG OMFG
nyotaharp: no way does that sound good...
Bones1701: You guys are never gonna believe this...
Bones1701: Chekov was being held prisoner in his room by a humanoid computer virus!
Bones1701: a FEMALE humanoid computer virus!
ScotlandtheBrave: WTF?
Bones1701: He was terrified. He was completely tied up. I think she was going to use him as a hostage and try to take over the ship's main computer. We were able to damage her programming by holding a large magnet next to her head.
nyotaharp: Holee crap.
SxyVulcan26: Fascinating, Doctor. Might I ask if the virus woman was Russian? Or at least spoke with a Russian accent?
Bones1701: Yes, ironically.
SxyVulcan26: Not so ironic, Doctor. It seems our friend Chekov has been visiting Russian mail-order bride websites in his spare time. He was tricked by a virus page into attempting to "download" one of these women to the ship for romantic purposes.
nyotaharp: No kidding.
ScotlandtheBrave: You'd think the lad would know that you cannot download a woman from Earth from a wbsite!
nyotaharp: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ScotlandtheBrave: *website
JTKStarfleet has signed into room USS Enterprise
SxyVulcan26: Let this be a reminder to you all, NEVER download a file with .exe at the end. No matter if it says, pictureyoureallywant.jpg.exe ... please notice the file extensions!
JTKStarfleet: It's been twelve minutes, you said 9
SxyVulcan26: I will be right there, Captain.
JTKStarfleet: ;-)
SxyVulcan26: The circumstances of my computer repair have been very unusual
JTKStarfleet: Tell me in person!
JTKStarfleet has left the room
nyotaharp: bye Spock ;-)
SxyVulcan26 has left the room
nyotaharp: Pavel's ok, right?
Bones1701: Yeah, he'll be fine. Just had a nasty afternoon.
Bones1701: See you in a few minutes, I'll escort him to the bridge soon.
Bones1701 has left the room

Your free session of time in chat room USS Enterprise has expired. Please visit again soon!

HOGWARTS CHATROOM

Welcome, Guestuser!
This room has 1 users besides you.

Guestuser has signed into room Hogwarts
ILuvHP82: hi
ILuvHP82: i just got a livejournal u wantto read?
ILuvHP82: www.livejournal.com/tomriddle
ILuvHP82: don't know who that is i just got a random IM with the password
ILuvHP82: anyway it hadn't been updated in a while so i used it
GrSeeker has signed into room Hogwarts
ILuvHP82: hey harry!!!
GrSeeker: Hi Ginny
ILuvHP82: :-)
CannonsRock has signed into room Hogwarts
CannonsRock: OK Harry u can send me that file now
GrSeeker: OK
GrSeeker: Snape isn't here right?
CannonsRock: Nope just u me and Ginny
GrSeeker: k
GrSeeker wishes to send file to CannonsRock. Accept transfer? (Y/N)
CannonsRock: Y
ILuvHP82: so whats up harry?
CannonsRock: Eewwwww gross what is it?
CannonsRock: *retch*
GrSeeker: heheeeh It's a computer stink-bomb attachment :p
GrSeeker: u like?
CannonsRock: wicked!
Crookshanks has signed into room Hogwarts
CannonsRock: we should send it to Snape
Crookshanks: Send what to Snape?
GrSeeker: LOL!
CannonsRock: here, see for yourself
CannonsRock wishes to send file to Crookshanks. Accept transfer? (Y/N)
Crookshanks: Y
Crookshanks: Ron Weasley that was perfectly horrid!
CannonsRock: hehe sorry Hermione
Crookshanks: Ron, you can't send that to a professor! He'll take points off of Gryffindor!
CannonsRock: He alreday takes points off of Gryffindor.
Crookshanks: already
CannonsRock: i know that, it was a typo
GrSeeker: What if we get a fake screen name just for this?
CannonsRock: DracoKissUp! hehe
GrSeeker has left the room
Crookshanks: You boys are so silly
Slytherin62315 has signed into room Hogwarts
Slytherin62315: hey guys its still me
CannonsRock: Harry?
Crookshanks: OMG. I am not going to be part of this.
Crookshanks has left the room
Slytherin62315: are we really going to go thru with this?
SSnape has signed into room Hogwarts

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